Part of the reason why I suffered when I was young was that I had such low self-worth. I felt there was something wrong with me.
‘I just wasn’t good with people.’
‘No-one wants to be with me or talk to me.’
That’s how I thought of myself. The extroverts, they’re the ones with the people skills and the desire to talk a lot.
I wasn’t one of them. So I assumed that staying away from people was the best way to protect myself from the scrutiny and scorn of others.
It helped with my stress levels, but looking back I’m not sure that strategy really helped me find my way in life.
All it did was to cause my growth to stall and left me lonely and depressed.
However, in my quest to get better, I have read some books on introversion. They helped me see that being an introvert is not the flaw I once thought it was.
Not a flaw
One was the Introvert Advantage Marti Olsen Laney, another Quiet, the Power Of Introvert by Susan Cain, and The Happy Introvert Elizabeth Wagele.
This post is not to lay out such ideas in detail but the sort of things I learned included:
Introversion is to do with biology and chemistry. It’s the way some individuals have grown through nurture and nature. There’s no reason to think it’s a flaw or a disease.
To be introvert is to be more interested in ideas.
Unlike extroverts, introverts love ideas and turning them over in their heads. Exploring ideas is why introverts make good philosophers, scientists, artists.
Contribution to the world
introverts have played a massive contribution in the world and they point out those leaders, artist, thinkers, businessmen and women as examples.
Importance of Lifestyle
Accepting what you are is the biggest step towards happiness, and finding a lifestyle that supports your introverted nature is important. This is why the happiest introverts have time set aside for themselves. To do their thinking, their art.
Good at Conversation!
Introverts may be better at the conversation thing then extroverts. Because they listen more deeply and avoid lots of small-talk. Conversing more on issues that are important to themselves and their connections.
Because of this, they can create far deeper bonds with people through Meaningful conversation, than the more superficial extroverts.
Some introverts when dealing with the extrovert norm, by hiding away their skills and gifts because they fear the response, of confrontation and conflict.
Instead introverts should be accessible, that is to say, more open. Express our ideas and reconnect with the world around us.
A lot of my anxiety is based upon feeling that I was flawed and had nothing to offer.
Some self-help books on Introversion helped me understand myself better.
They helped me address my low self-esteem by pointing out where I was going wrong. I had a negative view of myself that was unjustified and not based on reality.
To be an introvert and accept it helped me overcome some of the biggest problems in my life.
Such insight and acceptance helped me to focus on developing my skills and live more in accordance with the sort of person I am.
This to me is what personal development books are best at, breaking down falsehoods and lies. Introverts are not ill or flawed but a part of the rich diversity of personalities and people that make up our species.
Not only that but introverts have skills that the world at large needs, which means we can make a valuable contribution.