We spend a lot of time wondering how things will turn out when faced with a new venture or decision.
Which car will serve my needs the best?
Is this person right for me?
Should I leave this job and find another?
We are asked to make many choices in life and we are often paralysed by the complexity of those decisions.
We want to know for a certain which is the best choice. But we’re operating in the dark. Such complexity, and the fact that we’re not sure what we want can mean that the decision doesn’t get made.
We contemplate, brainstorm and hypothesise. We become obsessed with theory and knowledge at the expense of action.
All of which may help. But at the same time, it’s all a waste of time. No matter how much you try, you can’t get rid of uncertainty and the fear that comes with the unknown.
We don’t want to take a leap, so we speculate endlessly about the choices.
For me this has revolved a lot around meeting people. My anxiety would mean I would spend a lot of time trying to anticipate the reactions of other people. I ‘projected’ emotions of disgust, boredom or revulsion onto strangers.
Such second guessing makes it difficult for me to connect to others or take action for fear of what might happen or not happen.
The result was I wouldn’t act and instead I choose to avoid such situations.
But instead of trying to fix the future into a form we find acceptable, (which is what all this daydreaming and visualising is about), take a brave step and act.
Just don’t think. Suspend your imagination about the future, and take a leap, make a decision.
A step even a small one is what matters, because it’s really the only way to know which is the right decision. To know through direct experience, not through endless conjecture.
This to me is far better strategy as it involves less thinking overall and does not involve me dreaming up some ridiculous outcomes I don’t really think will take place. So as I have found it works well on the anxious types and the sceptical types like myself.
Futher still, direct experience is the only way to slay those inner demons. The fears that manifest in our twisted imaginings about the future.
We learn more by doing not thinking. So stop trying to second guess the future, or outsmart the cosmos and act.