To the bullies….
You have judged us, hurt us, ostracised us.
You convinced us there is something wrong with us by your word and deeds.
You took away our dignity, our self respect. You told us we were not fit to live in the same world as you.
You left us feeling worthless, powerless, and also perhaps meaningless.
You f*cking a**holes took away everything that was important in life. You’re purveyors of fear. But here’s the thing, I see through your lies, your falsehoods.
You think that just because we don’t rise to your taunts that somehow makes us powerless?
What I am doing now, is to find that passion, that success and happiness that you sucked out of me. It’s not just the writing, not the meet ups. Not facing by own fears and obstacles in the search for happiness.
It’s also a fist of defiance! One that I will connect to your face if you try that shit on me again.
To the other people who kept me small…..
It’s not just bullies, it’s everyone who thinks that we are flawed and needs correcting. Governments, doctors, scientists, parents, colleagues, so called friends, teachers and strangers.
You’re not like the bullies, but in your own way you are far worse. You’re way of demeaning is more subtle, more sinister.
You condemned us as flawed, anti-social, even mentally ill based on your own twisted reasoning.
Preaching perfection, and idealism that we can never match up to.
Why don’t you play with the others? Why don’t you talk more?
Why? Because we like what goes on inside our own heads that’s why! It’s fascinating in here I tell you, fascinating!
If you could see what I see, know what I know and understand as I do, you would be awe struck.
Were not shy, we are highly sensitive. We have probably noticed things you have not. Thought deeply where you did not. Because of this we may have answers you haven’t thought of, or dismissed.
Such keen insight and depth of receptiveness can make us feel jittery, ragged with emotions.
If this all seems like boasting your right. Because I am tired of being dragged down into doubt, fear and mediocrity by a**holes like you lot. Worse still my own mind tries to sabotage me.
I no longer have to put up with your crap. I see that now.
Maybe I am being to harsh on you. Your own ignorance makes you blind to the flaws in your thinking and beliefs. Meaning you treat us this way because you don’t know any better.
But still it’s hard to accept your behaviour when you ram it down our throats. Thinking that we are flawed and convincing us of the same.
To everyone including those I have mentioned…
Don’t judge us too fast.
We may not want to talk, because we want to think first. But get us onto a subject we feel passionately about and we can talk your ear off.
You may think we are geeky, nerdy. But that’s just a pejorative way of saying that we delve deeply into life, not just skim over the surface.
The banality of existence bores us. We don’t really care who won X factor, or which celebrities are fighting it out on Twitter. The trivial distractions of life are not what we want to talk about.
We want to know truths, whatever that might be. We want the answers to the big questions. We love ideas and want to turn them over in our minds and connect them together.
We want to express ourselves, yes we really do? It’s just that we’re afraid of what you might say because of these attitudes I have already mentioned.
We have so much going on inside that keeping it all in becomes a struggle.
But know this, we are not like you in many ways. That doesn’t mean we are flawed. Nor does that mean there is nothing we can talk about.
We like tranquility, rest, peace and quiet. Come and find us in those places, just don’t make too much noise, or you will ruin it.
Instead of thinking of us as shy, timid, weak, or inhibited. Think of us as discreet, self controlled, contemplative, perceptive, understanding. Yes, there are many words you can use to describe us that are not about our weaknesses, but our strengths.
Think of us as ‘Orchids‘. That is unlike you ‘Dandelions’ we are more sensitive to the environment. Noises, sights, ideas, even our own internal sensations like hunger can leave us feeling overwhelmed.
Being an introvert is difficult in a world that makes so much noise and moves so fast, then condemns us for being different.
Yes we are different than you. Introversion does have value in this world, although we ourselves may not feel that way.
Yes we struggle just like you, doubt, fear, worry, these are things we know very well. But these behaviours can be a way of concealing out strengths.
So if you’re not an introvert, and you haven’t met one of us.
Come up and say hello. Just remember it may take a little time for us to feel comfortable around you, and don’t be surprised if we need to leave early. We can get so over stimulated that we need to take a rest. But become a friend to us, and we will be friends for life, because we really do know how rare they can be.
‘Don’t walk behind me; I may not lead. Don’t walk in front of me; I may not follow. Just walk beside me and be my friend.’ – Albert Camus
I write this in behalf of all of us who notice too much, think too much, and feel too much.
Image Credit/123rf : Ray Hussey