Too sensitive for this world

My anxiety, fear, anticipation, trembling of hands. It makes me wonder, ‘am I too sensitive for this world?’

I can get overwhelmed by people who talk too much. I just want it to stop. I find it hard to say focused because my mind gets distracted by others sounds or activity. Also, it’s difficult, even impossible to separate out the speaker’s voice from the background noise.

I can watch action film for two hours and feel tired afterward. All the energy and action drains me.

Lots of noise, activity, people can also drain me of energy. Afterwards, it can take me hours to recover. I have to test it also because I feel so drained.

I can enjoy being in a city because of the activity, the noise. Also, there are moments when I feel connected to the people around me. I feel happy at being part of the world, humanity.

Certain sounds can irritate me a lot. With me it’s people eating or tapping their fingers, dripping taps. It’s called Misophonia. But I also enjoy certain sounds. ASMR videos. Soft whispering, the sound of rustling paper, someone ironing clothes.

I can feel intensely with music. I use music to fire me up. A lot of music I like is fast, powerful, intense. Even specific notes or groups of notes in a tune can provide a deep, intense feeling.

I sometimes despair when I see the terrible news and the problems and feel lost. It’s far away, and I’m powerless to help; I’m not rich or influential.

Sometimes I feel so strongly that I just want to run so hard that I keel over and die. The world affects me that much. At other times I feel so low I can find it difficult to get motivated to do anything.

I can only take people in small doses. Boisterous, noisy, talkative people I want to keep a distance from. It’s part of my introverted nature.

When I read or watch a story. I’m there in that place with those people. I feel what they feel. I can be trembling with the adrenaline running through me because the protagonist is in trouble.

I can get deeply upset by bad news. So much so that I now try to avoid the news. [Sensitivity vs idealism post]

I can’t tolerate horror films. They are scary, too intense. I either can’t get to sleep, or I wake up with nightmares.

When my blood sugar is low I can feel intense anger, depression, fear, frustration. I’m also more likely to react to new stresses. I can become impatient, disparaging, judgmental. Though you will not see any of it because I’ve learned to keep it all inside.

The book by Elaine Aron, the Highly Sensitive Person helped me better explain why my life was so difficult, why I like lots of silence in my life, and why I like staying at home.

As a man I find it hard to accept my sensitive side. I feel I should be more outgoing, more action orientated.

I love storms; I want to roar and scream at them. I imagine I would be the same with other primal forces of nature.

I have an aversion to conflict with other people. Even if I’m not the one involved. I get upset if I upset others. It’s a blow to my self-esteem.

Sometimes I like a strong wind blowing over me. Later I might find it too overestimating.

I often wear earphones, not because I’m listening to anything, but just to blot out some of the noise of the people, the world around me.

I love to be touched and to touch others. I find it so grounding and relaxing. Getting a hug, or stroking a cat I feel less in my head.

I can feel intensely at the beauty, majesty and terror of the natural world. Beautiful sunsets, the might of mountains, the fear, and power of a storm. The tranquility of a lake and much more.

I can become exhausted through conversation for too long. It leaves me drained of energy, and concentration. I like gaps in the talking for resting and contemplation.

What I do now is avoid a lot of the the causes above, as a way to manage my internal world.

Do you notice anything like this in your life. If so I’d like to hear about them in the comments below.

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